i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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