I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
