yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
