I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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