He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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