I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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