whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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