i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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