You're so nebulous sometimes
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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