The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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