I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
