dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
