omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
