dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
