She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
