alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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