Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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