Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I've blown a few things in my day
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
