He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
