I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
