Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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