Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
