best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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