there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize