Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
and she was petting her beer can
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
