At least make sure they are 18
Why
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
