Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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