The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
