I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
