eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
