She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Is it because I queefed?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
