How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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