Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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