the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
