My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
