Dual....:-)
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
