just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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