I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think im going to throw up on grandma
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
