I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
