I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
