Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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