it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
