You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
