Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
