That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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