I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You were trust falling into bushes
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
