And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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