you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My liver just broke up with me...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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