i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
