I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
