this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
