Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
