he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
