this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
