the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
