Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
