so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How does it feel to date your dad?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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