Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize
