Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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