I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
